Character-Slippers.com

I’m standing right now, gazing out through the window. It is still snowing. I could not bring myself to turn the heat on, so the apartment is freezing. The wind is blowing through cracks in the ceiling, yelping its loneliness and making mine worst. The earth is not shaking but I wish it would. It’s Christmas Eve. Not a good time to be alone. And tomorrow is my birthday. I’m Jesus’ twin soul. Everybody remembers Jesus’ birthday. No one remembers mine. I slowly close my eyes and permit the pain and sorrow to bubble and surface. Warm tears trickle down my frozen cheeks. I do not attempt to block their path. Some find their way to my mouth corners and I taste their saltiness. During the past month I did little but gazing out, watching the Christmas shopping craze, loathing the dictated gaiety air, the song-and-dance molecules. I taste my tears and I’m back in the moment. I open my eyes and look down. Through the haze of tears I can see I’m wearing my Eeyore slippers. They feel nice. Anthony bought them for me last Christmas, for my 30th birthday. He remembered me then. I was touched by his love. And now all I am left with is the token of his love, those Eeyore slippers that keep my feet warm but not my heart. My heart is cold. If only I could stop the train of thoughts, step down from it. I would mindlessly lie down in my bed, curling and hugging my soft blanket. I would let the warmth and darkness engulf and protect me. I would be back in my mom’s womb.