Character-Slippers.com

Welcome to the Killer Rabbit Slippers Page!
Rabbits are normally herbivores who feed by grazing on grass, forbs, and leafy weeds. Well, not this one. That’s no ordinary rabbit. Give it a chance, and this killer rabbit will leap at your throat and chop your head off in a heartbeat. Don’t be fooled by the soft white fur of this beast. For it is a dangerous and evil rodent with teeth as sharp as knives; it is the most foul and cruel creature you ever set eyes on. Many brave knights have attempted to take on the killer rabbit but ended up as scattered bones at the opening of the cave of Caerbannog! A harmless little bunny it is not!
The original killer rabbit was finally exterminated by The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. However, the grenade could not kill the legend that was born that day, and the legend of the killer rabbit is so powerful it has sustained for decades with all sorts of rites to preserve it. And you are invited to keep the legend alive by becoming an owner of these killer rabbit slippers that will flap their mouth open to expose razor sharp plush teeth with each step you take. I urge you to consider the matter favorably, for you do not want to provoke the spirit of the Killer Rabbit. if, however, you decide to leave this page without purchasing the killer rabbit slippers, I suggest you Run For Your Life!
Before we part, let me cite a few verses of great importance:
‘O Lord, bless this Thy Killer Rabbit Slippers that, with it, Thou mayest quash Thine enemies and drink their blood in Thy mercy.’
And the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou put on the Left Killer Rabbit Slipper. Then, shalt thou put on the Right Killer Rabbit Slipper. First Left. Then Right. Left then right shalt be the order in which thou shalt put on thy slippers, and the number of the slippers shalt be two. Three shalt thou not count, nor either count thou four, excepting that thou then proceed to two. Once the two slippers, two being the right number, be on, then, trod thou thy Killer Rabbit Slippers towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall be slaughtered.’
Amen!